Homeless, jobless, and eight months pregnant, with a two-year-old daughter under her charge, 22-year-old Timmy Tamara Crosby faces a desperate and bleak future.
Burdened with responsibility, she faces life alone, wondering if her daughters will ever find stability.
Speaking with Guardian Media, Crosby said she tries to stay strong for her babies but lives with the constant fear they would end up on the streets. After she found out she was pregnant, her relationship ended.
Crosby said happiness for her has always been fleeting but yet she still had hope that she would somehow change her circumstances and do better for her daughter Destiny Smith and her unborn daughter.
She said their father was no longer in her life but he had provided the essentials that she needed to give birth. The baby is due at the end of March.
Crosby said while that chapter of her life was over, she still longed for a life free from hurt and worry.
Without giving details of her relationship, she said all she wanted to do now was to be the best mother she could be for her two daughters.
With her eyes fixed on Destiny, Crosby caressed her baby bump whispering, “I want better for them. I don’t want my girls to face hardship.”
Expressing gratitude for her younger sister and her brother-in-law who have offered her temporary refuge at their two-room house in Princes Town, Crosby said she knows she has to find a place when the baby comes.
“I know I can’t stay here forever. Every day I worry—where will we go next? I just want my girls to have a roof over their heads, to not live in fear,” she said in a trembling voice.
Crosby said her life has been troubled and even as an adult she made poor choices. She said her mother walked out on them when she was five, leaving her father to raise her and her younger siblings, aged four and three. Without a mother’s guidance, they all struggled in school.
“My daddy tried his best to send us to school. I know he did his best but honestly, I couldn’t take on books. There was no one to help me with homework. A neighbour helped sometimes, but it wasn’t enough for me to do well,” she said. She made it to Form Three at Princes Town East Secondary and then transferred to Barrackpore East Secondary where she made it to Form Five. But like her mother, Crosby dropped out and never sat for her Caribbean Secondary Examination Certificate (CSEC) exams.
“I just didn’t go. I wasn’t prepared. At that time, I just felt school wasn’t for me,” she recalled.
Shortly after leaving school, she formed a friendship with her neighbour’s brother, which led to the birth of her first daughter.
“Life was sweet for a little over a year,” Crosby recalled. “But then things went bad and I got pregnant again. I had enough of the quarrelling and arguments so two months ago I left with my baby and came to stay with my sister,” she said sadly.
Now, with another child on the way and no permanent place to call home, Crosby said she was haunted by regrets.
“People may judge me for my choices,” she said, “but I never wanted this life for my daughters. I just want better for them.” She said her dream was to become either a nurse or a hairdresser.
She also recalled how her father told her to study in school and do better for herself. Now with her responsibilities, Crosby wants the public not to judge her but to help her so her children will have a better life.
“I don’t need much,” she added softly. “Just a chance—a chance to give my girls what I never had. I do people’s hair but I have no training in it,” she added.
She said her daughter Destiny was playful and bright and would start school soon. Crosby said she hoped to follow suit—return to the classroom, sit her exams, and pursue her dream of becoming a nurse or a hairdresser.
Now that she had reached the edge of des peration, Crosby also had advice to give to other young women.
“My advice to other young people is don’t rush into anything. Don’t go with no man just like that. It might seem nice at first, but afterwards, it’s not worth it,” she said. She said she never imagined that she would be living the same unstable life that her mother endured. It’s a cycle she wants to break for her two daughters.
“If we could have some help to build up a two-room house on the land my father gave me, I would be able to get my life back in order. I’m young and I want to do better. I want to get a job and provide for my children. Just please, give me a chance for my girls,” she added.
Anyone wanting to help Crosby with building materials can call 301-9888.
