Dear Dani: Your go-to guide for cul­ti­vat­ing joy, pos­i­tiv­i­ty, and hap­pi­ness in every­day life

If you’re ready to lead a more joy­ful and pos­i­tive life, this col­umn of­fers prac­ti­cal, ac­tion­able ad­vice root­ed in mind­set mas­tery, thought re­train­ing, and self-care prac­tices.

Join Dear Dani and to­geth­er we’ll ex­plore how small but in­ten­tion­al changes can trans­form your well-be­ing and help you thrive.

Fear of seek­ing ther­a­py

Dear Dani,

I’ve tried every­thing to feel bet­ter—talk­ing to friends, fam­i­ly, cowork­ers, and even my moth­er’s pas­tor—but noth­ing seems to help. Peo­ple keep telling me to try ther­a­py, but I feel weird about open­ing up to a stranger. What if it doesn’t work? What if they judge me? What if I’m just wast­ing my time and mon­ey?

I don’t know why, but some­thing keeps hold­ing me back. How do I

get past this fear and take that step?

Dear friend,

First­ly, let’s re­frame ther­a­py—not as some­thing to be ashamed of, but as a pow­er­ful tool in your self-care toolk­it. You’ve al­ready done the brave thing by try­ing to talk it out with the peo­ple in your life, but some­times, we need an ob­jec­tive, trained pro­fes­sion­al to help us un­tan­gle the

knots in our minds. And that’s okay!

Speak­ing from per­son­al ex­pe­ri­ence, ther­a­py helped me nav­i­gate one of the hard­est sea­sons of my life, and I can hon­est­ly say—it was one of the best in­vest­ments I’ve ever made in my­self, true talk!

In­vest­ing in your well-be­ing will nev­er be a waste of time or mon­ey. If any­thing, it’s a sign that you’re tak­ing your­self se­ri­ous­ly enough to heal and grow.

And that thing hold­ing you back? That’s your ego. It loves the com­fort zone—even when it’s not so com­fort­able any­more. To your ego, stay­ing “safe” is bet­ter than fac­ing what scares you.

But here’s the truth: avoid­ing the work won’t make the weight you’re car­ry­ing any lighter. One of the things that stuck with me from my ther­a­pist was this piece of ad­vice: “The on­ly way out is through.” This means avoid­ance is not a so­lu­tion.

And as for judgy peo­ple? They will al­ways have some­thing to say—whether you do good, bad, or in­dif­fer­ent. But their opin­ions are not your re­spon­si­bil­i­ty. Your voice is the on­ly voice that tru­ly mat­ters.

You will al­ways win when you bet on your­self, and ther­a­py is a bet worth tak­ing. Give your­self the chance to feel lighter, clear­er, and stronger. You de­serve that.

Dani

Cre­at­ing work bound­aries guilt-free

Dear Dani,

I love my job, but I’m tired. I feel like I’m al­ways on call, an­swer­ing emails at all hours, say­ing yes to ex­tra work, and stretch­ing my­self thin. Any­time I even think about set­ting bound­aries, I feel guilty—like I’m let­ting peo­ple down or not pulling my weight.

How do I set work bound­aries with­out feel­ing like a bad em­ploy­ee (or worse, a bad per­son)?

Dear friend,

Set­ting bound­aries can feel tricky, es­pe­cial­ly when you’ve spent so much time giv­ing peo­ple un­lim­it­ed ac­cess to your en­er­gy. So, the guilt? To­tal­ly nor­mal. But here’s the thing—stretch­ing your­self thin doesn’t make you a bet­ter em­ploy­ee; it just makes you ex­haust­ed, over­whelmed, and even­tu­al­ly re­sent­ful. Bound­aries aren’t about slack­ing off; they’re about pro­tect­ing your peace so you can show up as your best self.

Start small. Try lim­it­ing af­ter-hours emails maybe even re­mov­ing them from your phone so you’re not tempt­ed to check in at 10 pm.

Prac­tise say­ing “no” when your plate is al­ready full. And please—use those leave days you’ve prob­a­bly been ac­cu­mu­lat­ing, even if you’re just

stay­ing home and ex­hal­ing; rest­ing and recharg­ing are just as im­por­tant as your next dead­line.

Al­so, con­sid­er this a re­minder of that good old say­ing: “Work doh dead!”

As much as we all like to think we’re ir­re­place­able, the truth is that the of­fice will keep run­ning even if you take a step back. Pri­ori­tis­ing your well-be­ing isn’t self­ish—it’s nec­es­sary. So go ahead and set those work bound­aries, guilt-free!

Dani